im no good at blogging anymore.

Cause everything i wanna write never comes out the way its supposed to, and i just deleted everything i had written in the first place.

I've learned not to get my hopes up anymore. This time its actually working. I'm not letting the littlest things, or even some bigger ones bother me. I dont want any emotion other than happiness or calm. By not allowing myself to get upset, or jealous, or any thing like that, im so much happier this way. Its like, i just dont give a fuck. Ima do what i want, wear what i want, say what i want, smoke what i want, yuh know? Im gonna freaking live, cause i only have less than two weeks until school starts, and quite frankly, im not too thrilled.

Whoever told me not to wear tampons for the past six fucking years was crazy. Obv it was myself not allowing me to, but dude, they're like a miracle. Not that you care, but im just letting you know my news of tampons.

When you want something, you play evil games to get things to go your way. So far, my game is working. Hopefully, it'll continue working and i can continue being like this. I'm not gonna give my all to someone who doesn't want it yet because they wanna screw around first, but im not gonna get upset about it either, cause they're not mine, i have no control over them, and more girls need to learn that. We can't get mad at them for messing around. We can be upset, we can be pissed at the situation, but we cant get mad at them if we're not dating them, no matter how much you like them.

Being attached to someone isn't fun either. It usually happens once someone has sex or you're promised things. It's like there is stages right? You have the friend stage, the flirt stage/the like stage, and then you have the love stage. Lets say people go from the friends stage straight to the love stage, without realizing it all because of the stupid three letter word. SEX. Like, you dont know its happening, you dont know that you're "in love" with the guy, but thats how your body is feeling all because you did the dirty. And if you think about it, its very very true. Sex is supposed to be a sign of love. More recently, its not that at all. Its just sex. So, if you're thinking the person you're having sex with is doing it because they actually like you, which they might, but more than likely, they just want sex and you're giving it, which causes you to get attached and piss them off more than you intend to. So seriously, before you give your all to someone, maybe you should think if its gonna be worth it in the end.

wow, i dont know where that even came from, so dont even ask. But i've pretty much hung out with everyone and their brother these past couple of days. There was like a huge sleepover in mi casa last night, not planned, just out of the blue, which is what i want more of. It was fun but im dead tired, even though i took a nap.

Im really tired of there not being food in my house. Its quite depressing to look in the fridge and see the same ol shit as always. It gets old and i think thats one of the reasons im losing weight is because im not eating all that extra junk. I dont mind the losing weight part, but it makes me feel like poor or something, even though we're kinda good with money and w.e. I just wish there was food to show it.

We got netflix, and it seriously is like my new bestfriend. I watch that junk all day long. I have no life. Seriously. But its great :).