ranting

Like seriously, can people not just grow the fuck up sometimes? I mean that’d be awesome. Excellent. Marvelous. Joyful. Exciting. Less drama would be a result of that. There wouldn’t be pathetic little facebook fights, or people causing drama for no reason.. at all but to put their two cents in everywhere.. its not needed. Im so tired of life right now. I’ve been depressed for the past two nights, crying and stuff. And tonight im didn’t cry so that’s good, but I think cause im too tired to cry. Ima go to bed nice and early tonight. And im excited for that.

Heres the reason im so upset:
I feel so alone majority of the time. Like no one cares. Especially my mom. Like im not bashing her or anything, but she makes me feel so worthless and like im not here. Shes on the phone constantly in her room with the door shut, or shes on this computer, looking at online dating services. Which brings me to my next point…

People who try wayyyy too hard:
I cant stand them, at all. Cause if they’re trying too hard, you can tell. Its like the forty year old woman who tries to be thirty..oh wait, that’s my mother. I shouldn’t be bashing her, but I have so much anger inside of me towards her. Its like this annoyingness, but yet, it makes me the most upset. Idk where I’d be without my sisters, samantha’s boyfriend, my dad, and my friends. Honestly, probably not sitting here writing this blog, that’s for sure. Life is so very stressful, and at times I just want to get out of it. I wont do anything stupid, cause im not stupid, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t cross my mind you know? Maybe you don’t.

I’ve become so obsessed with my body. I cant look in the mirror without feeling disgusted. And yet I keep eating all the foods I know I shouldn’t. whatever. I’ll get to a size im comfortable with someday. I just don’t want to/cant get any fatter than where I am now, I cant be over 200 lbs. I think that’ll kill me. Not saying its bad to be over 200 lbs, I just cant get there. Ever. So don’t let me. Lol(:

Boys boys boys. I like boys who smell good, know how to flirt, know how to carry a conversation, make you feel cute, make your day, say sweet things, decent looking, give great hugs but…. Im pretty positive my school lacks those necessary to fit my description. Damn. It really does suck. Theres only like four cute boys at my school. Its ridiculous. D:

Stressing out majorly. Sometimes everything a certain person does bothers the hell outta me, but im thinking its just because its THAT specific person. The voice, the way they walk, the clothes the wear, how they act, everything. I just want to yell SHUT THE HELL UP. PLEASE. ..but maybe no please. I also have two projects due Tuesday. TUESDAY. That’s like in four days. And my weekend is SLAMMED full. Like wtf am I supposed to do. Cry? Cause I think I will. Lol. Or hopefully I can get it done.

I hate people who smell bad. Haven’t we ever heard of deodorant? Cologne? Perfume? BODY WASH? A.n.y.t.h.i.n.g!? lol. I hate it. And you walk past them and want to pass out. That’s really really sad, im not gonna lie. Whatever. Not me that smells so I wont worry about it.