do you think i care?

Honestly, I am so tired of hearing everyone’s pathetic immature drama via facebook. If you have something to say to someone, it’s either called texting, messaging or facetoface. Don’t post your status’ talking back and forth to the other ones, only creating more drama. Quite frankly, I don’t wanna hear it, and most people on facebook don’t want to either.

With that being said and out of the way—I had a pretty good couple of days. I went with Meghan to her dad’s girlfriend’s parents house, which was a pretty ballin’ house(: with a pool, aka the perfect party house. We went swimming most of Sunday, and ate bunches of unnecessary food and some helluh good chicken! Then today, due to the rain, we just basically lazied around. Watched a movie. And slept. And ate more freaking food. That’s not even good!

Another thing— I’ve realized by watching two zombie movies, they’re scary! And now I understand why Meghan and jasmine freaked out.


Kay cool<3

some things i've learned lately:

1. I'm allergic to either cats, or just animals in general. This is quite shocking to me, because i've always had animals. But ever since i went to Devin's house, and my eyes got really itchy, and then Taylor's and then last night at Jessi's, i've been sneezing way badly around them, and get really really itchy eyes. Honestly, i think i noticed this at Meghan's, once upon a time. Who knows. Just know that, i am allergic to animals.

2. My dreams of opening a daycare when i get older are more and more important to me. Last night at Jessi's, me and her little sister clicked. She was way clingy of me, and i honestly didnt mind it at all. She wanted to follow me around and hold my hand, and i loved every second of it. It was like a sign that my dreams are the right ones for me. Hopefully, I'll be able to achieve them.

3. I want a boyfriend. I definitely just wrote my other blog about this, but in all seriousness, i do. Listening to Jessi talk on the phone to her boyfriend made me envy her, no matter the guy. Its just the fact that she had someone to talk all cutesy and stuff to. And the way her face glowed talking to him, made me want that feeling. The butterflies. The constant smile. Yeah, those would be very nice.

4. Sunburn isn't fun, and i will now and forever always wear sunblock. I was in so much pain i could hardly walk and i just wanted to stay in bed. Now, im feeling better, but thats not the point. Those couple of days, were hell. So therefore, i will wear my sunblock dang it!

5. i dont mind if you dont text me back when i say "hey" or something. BUT when i ask someone a question i want answered, i would like for them to text me back and uhm.. answer the question maybe? yeah. rawr. thats honestly quite annoying.

6. This summer, after all, might turn out okay. (:

call me, so i can make it juicy for yuh,.

can i find a summer crush? a summer love? a summer romance? or whatever you wanna call it? baha. cause i could really use some cute cuddle time with cute boys. and cute little kisses. idk, i just think it'd make my summer better. i wont complain if i dont get it.. or if i do. baha. wellll, im completely and utterly toasted from the sun. Going to Taylor's was fun(: we got up way early, but it was good because it was like refreshing. Spent only like four hours at the pool, and yet, i got that effin burnt. Its incredibly lame|: So, hoping that will go away soon enough. Jessi's house tonight, hopefully i wont be a party pooper due to how burnt i am. baha. OH! Had an interview this morning at Salsaritas. I dont know how it went, but i guess we'll see within the next couple of weeks. Not too sure if he was interested, but i can only hope for the best. so yeah.

(:

and this is the life i've been given,

so basically, i have to make the best of it.
going to taylors tonight (:, like she said, for some well needed girl time. life is tough/rough right now, and hopefully some people will come around and see how much i really really need them, and im not just saying that. i need them. and i would probably die if they would die. cant they see that we care? i wish oh how i wish :| all i can do is hope and pray that everything will be okay<3.

so getting ready, then going out for a little before taylors, then taylorss ;D

how am i supposed to react to this?

can someone please answer this for me? or help me find a solution. cause quite frankly, i cant do it alone.

pet peeves,

i think one of my biggest pet peeves is when guys ask that question " are you a virgin" and then once i say no they say " well i can change that." hmph, really now? how can you be so sure. and why would you even say that. you have no idea what i want. so obviously i dont want your sex if i havent wanted anyone else's sex. thanks though, and no, not after you "get to know me " will i change my mind. Also, if im not being direct and telling you where i live, obviously i dont want you to stalk me. you already obsess over why i didnt text you back, hmph, maybe i didnt wanna talk? did that ever come to your mind? no, didnt think so.

WHERES MY JOBBB. I need one way bad.
im eating every freaking thing in this house.
rawr.

its late at night,

and i just wanna say some things:
Not every thing can be about you. i cant focus all my attention there. and im tired of making up excuses. its your choice, im done.

im so glad we're not friends. i mean i had already made that choice in my head like forever ago, and you finally came to your senses tonight. i think you tried to make me upset. i didnt get there. because honestly, i wasted my time. you were my true best friend and when i said i love you, i meant it, as best friends. its not me who left me for a new relationship and comes running back after things end bad. Because in the end, friends last longer than girlfriends, and you didnt realize that til it was too late. or maybe actually, you never cared from the beginning. thanks for nothing.

and thats all my issues tonight. everything else is simply great. i dont know what to do and whats going to happen with my future, i can only hope for the best though thats for sure.

awkward much? This kid i havent talked to in forever texted me and was mad when i didnt have his number in my phone. i havent talked to you in ages, why would i keep it. and then this other kid to? like okay. it was a weird weird weekend/day.

and life couldnt get better.

So I haven’t blogged in awhile, so this one might be a little long. Oh well. Read it or don’t, I personally don’t care. Theres a lot to tell about these past couple of days. First and foremost, its summer. Schools out. No drama. No pathetic little annoying loud freshman who get on my nerves. No getting up at seven every freaking morning. No homework, studying, or even better thinking(:. This is exciting. I love the summer time, minus the storms, but they’re irrelevant to me. They will not ruin this summer. No sir!

This past week I had exams. I passed them all thankfully! And then Friday after school, I went to the beach with my Bff aleksss! We stayed at this house in this cute little neighborhood, not on the beach, but yet close enough you know. Anyways, the car ride there was surprisingly short and easy to me, but maybe because we watched a movie and that passed the time. Whatever though, we get there, don’t do much, and play chatroulette then bed. We had this really cool room though, with like mirror walls that I was only obsessed with. Saturday we went to the beach! It was so nice out and everything. We stayed there for a long time and met this kid named Sam. He was cute and all, but yeah. I ended up getting burned in awkward little places all over my body, and it still hurts today, especially my back where the bra strap lies on it. Whatever though. We went out to eat for the little boys birthday “chandler” to outback, and then played miniputt. Sunday came around and we went to barefoot landing and I got some cute stuffffsss and finally it was time to come home. I love the beach, but I love coming home too. Baha.

Chilies with the juniors was super fun and entertaining. Some people are annoying but I deal with it yuh know? Then afterwards we went and saw Alice in Wonderland which wasn’t my personal favorite but its okay. Then back to my house and just chilled there and ordered pizza and acted like freaks, like always. Some things were annoying, but I have to learn to calm myself before I piss others off, its my weakness, and im trying.

Got my class ring this morning. Its prettier online, but I still like it now (: hopefully I’ll actually wear it. Lol.

So- this summer heres what ima do. Im not gonna care about anyone buy myself. Sounds conceited or selfish or whatever, but I have to make myself happy, for me. Im going to focus on losing weight, getting healthier, getting a job and just taking a breather for once.


life is about chasing after the things you truly think are worth it, even if they dont happen . . id rather have nothing then know i settled for something i didnt want . . - selma hayek

everybody take it off.

can i just tell you again how weird it is for me not to be liking someone atm. It was always someone, i always had a crush, no matter what. Now, i find no reason to waste my time. I learned that if a guy likes you, he'll find a way to ask you out, he'll let you know he likes you, so why should i keep worrying about boys. You're completely right, i shouldn't, thanks for agreeing with me. whatever though. Im going to the beach this weekend with aleks, and im pretty excited about that(: Hopefully, we'll get to have some killer adventuresssss.

six dayssss, six freaking days to grow some balls and win my bet. honestly, i wanna give up on it, but i dont think i should yet. we'll seeeeee!

always shave,

you never know when you're gonna end up naked. ;D

This weekend i had fun. Let me tell you about it!
OK, Friday was yearbook day at school, and since the juniors won the spirit link competition, Brusters kindly provided us with ice cream sundaes. So besides the heat, that was a good start to my weekend. Then I went home with allisonnn! We went and visited alyssa at work, went to cookout, came home, chilled, got stalked by a man while walking around ( who we later learned was probably the security guard ) and then watched the exorcism of emily rose! Which i fell asleep during and was awoken by her screaming. This led to a weird dream, but thats besides the point.
Saturday. Woke up at like twelve, and read a little because we're nerds. Just layed around the house and ate, then she took me home around onethirty. I got ready, showered and everything, and put on some skanky clothes ( it was HOTT out ) and headed to jasmines when amy picked me up. and Meghan. Well, we went there and alyssa jasmine and vanessa were there, they had to keep vanessa intertained because they were throwing a surprise party at her house. Five oclock we leave to "go home" and head to vanessas. It was a cute party and she was shocked, but we definitely didnt fit in. So after awkwardly being there, we left. The tutu's and alyssa(: and went to meghans, then mcdonalds. Which was chill. Then alyssa went home and we played in the sprinkler and other stufff. it was an interesting night, and some things were rocky, but everything in the end turned out okay, thankfully. (:
Sunday. was a blah day, a chill day. I read books, and went to walmart/taco bell with my sister and her boyfriend. and thats it(:


basically, i have a bet to win. I HAVE to freaking win. but its getting closer to the deadline, and its still not won. I guess we'll see what happens.. ;D Life is great. I love it. Everything about it. And sometimes you guys, you better not make someone your priority if you're only their option. Its gonna get you hurt, while i saw it coming from far far away.

love is just a hoax, so forget everything you have heard.

This is exactly how i feel sometimes. Theres so many emotions running through my mind. excitement, happiness, determination, and other emotions that i choose to block out though. im so freaking excited for school to be out. so so so excited. and its coming closer and closer each day.





i've also realized something today, i absolutely love little kids. they're my favorite and maybe i could even get into a job that includes that. Because, honestly, i had it ALL planned out. i was gonna get into interior design, but now, im thinking not. im thinking more along the lines of education with little kids, like child development and opening my own daycare, that way, i can design it and work with little kids.

this excites me more than you freaking know i think (:

anyways, before that though, like during college, i'll work as a makeup artist. i love when people compliment me on my makeup and stuff. it makes me smile alot. and as long as my makeup looks good, i dont care about anything else! so if you have any new makeup ideas i could try, just let me know, so i can do it (:

I don’t think anyone understands me fully. I’ve messed up friendships so many times, fought with everyone, pissed people off, annoyed them, screwed things up, and its all because I think im just a hard person to understand. Im easy to get along with, that’s not the problem. I just think that sometimes, I think differently than most people. I try to rationalize things out in my head, and sometimes that doesn’t work and I get overworked about the littlest things, but that was the old heather. No more of that petty dramatic side, no one likes that. Im seriously going to try my hardest not to focus on the pointless things in my life, like the ones I need to let go of. Like so what if I kissed that boy, and shouldn’t have, it was the past, I need to get over it. And so what that he doesn’t like me? It’s what I should honestly be used to, so I need to get over it. If I don’t get over these stupid things and move on with my life, im going to sit here and dwell on everything that isn’t worth my freaking time. Im glad I have my friends to make me realize these things, especially Kim. Not saying the others don’t do so, I just think she’s the one who voices it the most, and I appreciate that very very much so. I need to move on with my freaking life. Leave the past in the past, and if I want something, I need to go after it. Don’t let the fear of hurting others keep me from being happy, that’d be stupid. Also, if someone tells me a fault about myself, I need not dwell on that either, I should just move on, accept it, and if it’s something worth fixing, then try to fix it. If not, then let that person think what they want and not worry about it. I used to get upset if something wasn’t how I wanted it. If this person didn’t act a certain way, it hurt me. But now, I don’t even care. It’s not a bad “not even care” either, it’s a realization that I don’t need to waste my time on people who don’t put in effort into the relationship, Kay thanks.

Now, this summer, will be something else. I have a goal, and I’ve had this same freaking goal for the past like seven summers, no joke, and that is to get fit and lose weight. I have to. I need to. I think it’ll be the only way I’ll be fully happy with myself, is to improve myself into someone that I actually like. Im hoping I can get a job, that way I can work out and stuff. And join a gym, because I would use it so much. I actually love running, you would find that surprising, but it releases a lot of emotions and makes you feel good. I love it a lot, but I don’t even have a chance to do it. Yes, that’s an unfair thing of life, but life. Isn’t. fair. And honestly, the only thing I can do now, is accept it. And that’s what im going to do. Focus on myself and bettering myself with life. It will take awhile, im sure of that, but its what’s I want.

its not like i like you.

because tbch, i dont. at all.
It's more along the lines of i want you.
Because, i do. that is all.

^^^ thats my poetry :)
and thats as good as its gonna get. honestly, i dont like anyone right now. i want quite a few people, but thats a different story. i dont know why i keep feeling like im feeling. maybe i like it, or maybe i just cant control it. either way, i feel it. and its... crazy!

im so freaking excited for summer to come.
because i already have my mind set that its gonna be a kickass one, so its going to be a kickass one.
i wont get my period until the end of it, so no worrying about that! (:

lalala<3>

found it and loved it.

because it only makes sense.

im a new me.

People say and do things, and its so great when i dont let them bother me. I feel on top of the world. Because if i dont let what they say affect me, then i cant get upset. I cant feel depressed. now if its major, then yeah, it'll probably affect me. But can i ask something? Why DO people have to be mean? especially anonymous. Like if you really dont like something about me, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me to my face.

anyways.
i've tried.
and tried.
and tried. and tried.
butttt- i. cant. control. it.

I cant control being jealous. Its just who i am. i hate it. Every freaking second of it. And im jealous of the stupidest things. Things that aren't worth my time. People who aren't worth my time being jealous of, i am. So, i have to stop. i have to control it. Because i need to be happy within myself, with what i got for now.

Last night was fun. I really do love my friends. They are great, and Meghan did excellent in her play. i got a 96 final in art. thats pretty darn good. i didnt deserve it. at all if we're being completely honest, but I'll take it :)

I'll say it again and again for now -- I LOVE LIFE.

[:

i love my life.
everything is going great.
kaythanks.

do you believe in fortunes?

"Your luck has been completely changed today."

I received that fortune last week. and honestly, so far, its been true. which is insane. because i never actually believed them. maybe its just the way the mind works. if you believe something is true, then it will be true, because you have your mind set on it. so yeah. thats how life has been. everything has been great. im sick as mess, but honestly, thats not stopping me. i think i failed my math exam, but seriously, its only math. i have an english project i need to do, but i really really am not in the mood to do so. whatever. anyways. i just love life right now. even with everything bothering me, i still find a way to be happy somehow, and im feeilng way confident, way sexy. its nice. but seriously.

im really excited about summer. really. freaking. siked. it better be a dang good summer too! thats all im saying.

life is good

Boys. Boys. Boys.

Hate them. Love them. Want them. Need them.

Boys who are all talk and no action tease the piss outta me.
Like only a lot. Lol (: but one day, I’ll get what I want. Doesn’t
It always happen like that for me? I think so. So hopefully, I’ll
Get it.
But getting turned on at school is not. What. I. want. Or need actually.

Kay thanks.

other than nothing, life is pretty good atm(: thanks for caring<3

i was rushed. i wanted to add more.

some people did bother me last night, even though i told myself no one would. but when you're having sex on the dancefloor, thats only kinda trashy to me. so go ahead and make everyone look at you in disgust, thats your problem, not mine.

can i be the first to blog about my night?

(:
cool.

prom. was. amazingg
im not even gonna lie.
everyone thought it was going to be lame, and at first when i got there, i expected that too. but that was stupid of me, because honestly, it was great. me and my friends MADE that dance. we were the party. we had the sexiest dresses, we looked the best, and thats just how we roll.
;D

let me tell you about my weekend!

it started thursday for me.
i got my spray tan, it was way cool :)
my legs looked helluh sexy.
Friday:
i go to schoool, and it was a fairly easy day.
get my nails done.
go to amy's house with my girls.
stay up til two doing all sorts of things.

Saturday:

wake up at eight, due to excitement.
woke everyone up, and they were pissed at me :P
i showered first, got my hair done first and was ready first.
i was so excited i couldn't not get ready.
then, finally, time for pictures.
it was grossly hott. and humid.
those went well i suppose.
then hickory tavern for dinner, them people were jerks and i didnt appreciate them. at all.
target with our prom dresses on. i bought panties and wisp tooth brush thingy's. awkward combination.
LIMO! i was so freaking excited you have no idea.
i had never been in one so it was a nice little adventure for me. it was great.
we drove around for a little, them PROM :) walk in, it looked sorta lame. but i didnt. i looked dead sexy. sorry to be conceited i guess, but thats how i felt.

At prom:
i danced my butt offf. omg.
( i feel it now, oh well )
and people told me i looked pretty, which made me feel pretty.
and my bff Alyssa won prom princess<3
i was so excited!

After Prom:
rode around in the limo for awhile.
went to alyssas house :)
then we went to ihop, and it was very very dark in there.
:P
then we went back to my house, all 11 of us..
ELEVEN PEOPLE IN MY SMALL HOUSE.
baha. it was chill until people wouldn't STFU.
didnt go to bed til 6 maybe? and they left at 8 waking us up.
it was great.

now i have to go do my project.. due tmrw. D: