i dont honestly know how to release my emotions.

so i'll write about them. Like i love hanging out with ryan. he makes me so super happy, i dont think i've honestly felt this way, at all. But, im scared. He scares me so badly. I dont know how to take him sometimes. and i dont think he completely understands me yet. Im pmsing, which didn't help anything tonight. I had fun though, but i had some pretty shitty moments.

Someone needs to stop being such a fucking prick. Like honestly, you're not that great. You're annoying. Im only putting up with you because of ryan. you hurt my feelings, actually alot. You made me feel like shit, putting me down, and just making me feel like a loser basically, and im not happy. I dont cry over boys. Idk why i cried because of the things you said to me, but i did. I came home and freaking cried. My dad checked on me, which made me smile, because im glad he cares. But because of you, i took my emotions out on someone i care dearly for, and im really hoping hes not pissed. But if he is, i'll just let him get over it or something, i can't win them all...

so, gonna go lay down, with candles and music again, i need to relax.