The magical things that happen in my room.. or yet.. not so magical. you see, my room/house has this tendency for bad things to go down. Maybe its because we're always chillin' in my room, even yet my bed, but still. I don't comprehend how boys can;t just keep it in their damn pants, when we ask them to, and they promise. No, thats stupid. Why would they do that D:
i think i've finally come to realize and accept that i suffer from a little bit of depression. i never wanted to admit this, cause i hate that feeling, that name, it kills me to watch my dad and little sister suffer from it, but yet, i've had it al along, its just gotten worse over the past couple of months. I can be having so much fun, then one thing can put me in the worst mood, like last night, and i get easily annoyed, and i dont wanna be a bitch, but thats how things turn out. and i hate when my friends are around, cause i dont want them to feel like i hate them, cause thats not the case. i just need time by myself when im like that. they still mean the world to me, and i hope they know that. anyways, the thing that bothers me the most about depression is you're supposed to take medications, and i REFUSE to take medicines because i've seen how if you're on the wrong ones, how they'll affect you, and its scary. and crazy. and i dont wanna put anyone through that, like i've been through that for the last what, seven years of my life? no one deserves to go through that.
we danced in the rain last night.. pouring freezing thundering and lightning rain, and it made me feel.. alive. i loved it. you see, im generally terrified of storms. 100% terrified. in sixth grade, i missed 60-something days due to the fact that if it was raining, i wouldnt be at school. So, being able to go running around in the street with lightning and this loud booming thunder meant something to me, actually, it meant a lot to me. and i appreciate my friends doing this with me(:
"your eyes were amazing. i looked into them and saw the ocean at night" This, is the line that will lead too, " and btw, i have crabs" (: hook ups. whats your views on them? i mean, i think if you know a lot about someone and have known them for awhile, yes sex and other stuff could be okay. but NOT when you met the girl that night and yall have sex. it shows me how easy and how much of a hoe that girl is, or yet, how easily attached she can get without even knowing you. and in this case, that was the way it happened. They met, they had sex, she tells him she likes him, but yet, he doesn't even know her enough to like her back. he freaks out, because what is he supposed to do you know? thats a major screw up situation, and i dont personally care enough, because if you wouldnt have had sex, things would have been fine. so good lucky buddy with that. you shouldn't have turned into that man whore self of yours.
boys boys boys. they're seriously so weird.. so complicated.. so confusing. or all of the above. so thats why i've come to the point in my life that boys just dont matter to me. yes, i love flirting, but being in a relationship isn't my main priority. making myself happy is, and im going to try my hardest with that.
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