lalalala-lame.

can everyone please start to hate me? cause that's JUST what i want. nottt.

seriously,its as if the world is turning against me. i cant do anything effing right and its pissing me out and stressing me out. i dont recall doing anything to anyone to make them not even like me, or be "fond" of me. if i did, please let me know. cause i dont. whatever. i guess i cant win them all. and i never will be able to, so why stress myself out trying to do so? i shouldn't, you're right. and that is that.

im in the worst of moods... ever.
nothing is going right. my dad said hes not too excited about having my party, so guess what, no party for heather D: and that really upsets me. another thing, i hate fighting with my friends, but when i feel as if im putting all the effort into the friendship, we dont play that game, and obviously im not that important if you dont try either. why should i waste my time on that. yes, it hurts to be a bitch and tell people whats up, but obviously someone has to do it. and for the love of God, me and the "tutu's" AREN'T always together, seriously. we hardly get to chill that much. but if we do chill, its because i trust them 100%. with everything. i know i can say anything to them and WONT be judge. and made felt like shit. i know that for a fact they're not gonna leave me for a guy, and even if we do spend time together, its because they make me happy. super happy at that. yes i love my other friends, dearly, but its highschool, things happen, people change, and life goes on.. its a proven fact. and im learning this now. if you have a friend, who every time they get a boyfriend, you're put on the back burner, why fight it anymore and try to be their friends? its NOT worth it.. seriously.


Hmph, im gonna try this new thing on loving who i am. no im not size two, or size nine at that, im size 13 and proud. i need to lose weight for myself, but for now, im going to work with what i've got. I hate a lot of things about me, my hands, my feet, my arm fat, but i will and can work on it. its not impossible to lose weight, or get fit, i just have to get the encouragement to do so. and thats hard. especially when you have tons of homework getting in the way ( which im not obviously doing ). whatever though.

life will get better, it has to.

sincerly,
heather
superupsetbitch.