its a fact..

so i've personally just diagnosed myself with depression. even though im pretty positive i have it in real life. Here's why: it runs in my family, so im bound to get it. I've been showing signs of it for awhile now, i've just ignored them, not wanting to accept it, and finally, all i ever wanna do is lay in bed, and never get up. im not happy majority of the time. i put up this front. and wear that fake smile, which im pretty good at. why? its easier that way. no one asks questions if you're happy. you know? dont get me wrong, i do have genuinely real happy days, that im on top of the world, like yesterday, then things change overnight. like today. Hence the reason i didnt go to school. i was up all night. tossing and turning, and it was so.. weird. i had these five random stories going through my brain all night. they didnt make sense. it was like they were real, but yet, they were dreams all the same. and i cant describe the way i felt. but all i know, was that when i woke up, i was so tired. i couldn't just force myself to get up, so finally i was like screw that, im not going to school. and therefore, i laid in bed until 1:30-ish. thats. not. healthy.

so, what is there to do? can anyone tell me please. cause i cant figure it out. and its too much put on me for me to handle.