these moods.

are killing me. inside slowly. I'm freaking seventeen years old. I shouldn't be depressed. Pissed off at the world. Pissed off at everyone. Easily agrivated. This easily annoyed. Flipping on people so easily like I have been doing. I shouldn't have to feel any of this. I dont freaking know whats wrong with me, and I hate it. I hate it so bad. I have this constant feeling to cry. To not even care honestly though. I just want to run away, and I'm not saying that as a "look at me I'm a depressed kid and i want attention" i just want to get away from everything and everyone here. I'm hurting my family more because i'm angry. Angry all the time. I don't think life is fair, oh wait, its not fair and everyone can tell you this. I just wish that something would make me happy these days. I get happy for two minutes then bam, im back in this shitty mood. Some people care, and others seem like they couldn't care less. But thats okay. Because I am annoyed with most of them anyways. I miss my best friend. I miss hanging out with him. Everyone else hates him, and I have my moments too, but he makes me laugh. and we have good times together, no matter how much of a dick he is sometimes, i love him. Hes more of a brother to me than anything and its a great feeling. So, I really dont know how much more of this i can take before i snap. And that scares me. Like what am i even feeling, or why do i even feel this way. I have friends, or well i think. I feel as if no one likes me anymore, and i just barge into conversations just to feel like they want to talk to me. feel like they still know i exist. I want to sleep more than anything. and cry most of the time. and not talk to anyone, but yet begging for someone to talk to me to take my mind off of these stupid feelings. hopefully, i'll get help. and start feeling better. cause i dont like this. and yeah, you can see me laughing and smiling, but thats a cover. a mask. because who wants to be around someone whos always bringing the mood down, david downer as some would call it. no one would, thats right.