(:

Taylor introduced me to some pretty cool Taylor Swift songs. I'm in love with them. Jump then fall is a perfect song i thought for Ryan. But, I didn't even have the chance to play it for him. I swear I could have done that boy good. I wanted to be the one who made him smile, when he wanted to cry. The one to calm him down when he was livid. I mean, who knows, maybe I still will be, but I know i wont be around forever for him, and if he loses me again, thats his loss, and maybe mine.. but I'll have to deal with it right? I'm trying to be more positive about the whole thing, trying to not let myself think about how much this sucks, and just having a little faith maybe, because I seriously havent felt that much hurt since I lost my best friend, but I think that was worse.

"I said leave but all i really want is you, to stand outside my window throwing pebbles screaming i love you. wait there in the pouring rain, come back for more, and dont you leave cause i know all i need is on the other side of the door<3"