I'm seriously tired of feeling this way.

I'm tired of being sick. I'm tired of feeling nauseous. I'm tired of wanting to only sleep all day long, and not do anything but. I'm scared to see what the test results say, hopefully I have none of those stupid diseases, but I wanna figure out what the heck is wrong with me. I threw up this morning, and I'm feeling all crappy now again. Its getting old.
So, Ryan is the greatest. He came over last night to see me and got caught. He did it all just to see me, and thats the part I love. Hopefully hes not in too much trouble with his mom.. I really really like him. I always talk about how much I do, but I dont honestly think you understand. Everyone has their bad opinion of him, everyone, but no one really sees him like I see him. It's like I know where hes been and what hes done and a lot about him, and I still wanna be with him. I want him, ALL of him, even though theres those few things i dont like, but thats who he is, and if i want him, i take everything about him. I get butterflies when he calls me and i hear his cute little voice. I get butterflies when i see him. I get nervous when I see him, each and every time. It makes me smile more than I have in awhile when im with him. When he is upset, it kills me. I want him happy, that's how much im really starting to care for him. I've kinda realized something, I do need him atm, because if I lose him now, I think I might die, no lie.

Its football season again, and dude am I psyched! LOL. Maybe just maybe the panthers WONT suck this year.. baha :P